Wear Sunscreen

I am a fair-skinned person. Pale. White. Maybe not the fairest/palest/whitest person that exists in this world, but more so than many others (my husband included).

But I do love me some sunshine.

When I was little, my mom would lather me up with sunblock to protect my little pale self from the harsh Ohio sun. I remember very few sunburns from my childhood, if any.

Happy baby me enjoying some sunshine, confident that my mom has protected me from the sun

But then we moved to Florida and I became a teenager. And this is where this story goes downhill.

In high school I became basically obsessed with tanning. With my friends, it was all about how dark we could get. We basically lived at the beach, and of course sunblock never touched our skin. It was all about the oil. Gotta wear the tanning accelerator oil. I used so much of that stuff, I probably should have bought stock in Australian Gold.

If we couldn't make it to the beach because some pesky thing like school or work or band practice got in the way, my friends and I would hit the tanning bed. SHAME! I shudder at the thought of poisonous rays I absorbed in those beds, all the while still lathered up with more oil. But I was hooked. Those tanning beds were addicting on their own - I found them so relaxing. The warmth, the hum of the bed, some soft music, ahhh. Perfect way for a high school student to catch a quick 20-minute nap after school.

Tan me (far left) on my 16th Birthday

I think this was around high school graduation time. Not overly dark, but a nice, constant tan.
(And...oh, to be 17 again.)

Plus, I was addicted to "color." I needed to be tan. I couldn't be dark enough. This obsession waned slightly when I got to college, but not by much. I still hit the tanning beds from time to time, and spent some time at the pool or out in the grass by my dorm. When I moved into my first apartment, I took to studying for class by the pool. I would spend hours out there, lathered up, going over my notes. I'm hoping that by this point I had learned to at least wear some sunblock, but I can't say for sure if that was the case. I would imagine that even if I was letting some SPF hit my skin, it was probably a very low number, much lower than my paleness really requires.

Pretty tan on spring break in 2004. Probably the only time I have ever been darker than Eric.

More 2004 tan-ness

When we moved to D.C., my tanning habits took a natural hit. I mean, it just wasn't possible. I had winters again for the first time in years. There wasn't a pool to lay out in, and I couldn't find a way to lay out comfortably on my balcony (although I did try). When Eric and I got engaged, sunblock finally became my friend. I was so afraid of getting tan lines for my wedding dress that I lathered up the SPF 30 every day before leaving the house. Finally, good habits were starting!

A little color on my wedding day, but much paler than in the past. Good girl, me!

That's not to say I haven't relapsed since the wedding. It's not that I have fallen back into my oil-loving ways, but I have had occasions where I either forgot/didn't apply sunblock, or didn't apply enough or frequently enough. I got pretty burned on our honeymoon. I got flat-out charbroiled when we went back to the Caymans for our first anniversary. And the most recent burn in my memory happened last Fourth of July, when we went to the Hot Dog Eating Contest in Coney Island and I forgot sunblock. For whatever reason, I didn't think it was necessary to buy some on the spot, and I got fried. I'm hanging my head in shame over here.

Sporting some pretty pink shoulders last Fourth of July

But for the most part, I'm really doing better. I'm working hard to break my old bad habits and embrace my paleness. Pale can be beautiful too, people. Sure, you never see pale swimsuit models, but you have to look past that! I'm trying really hard to create good skincare habits in the sun. I carry sunblock in my purse during the summer. I wear a floppy hat when sitting in the sun. On the cruise in February, I practically bathed myself in SPF 45 daily, with frequent re-applications. I care much less now about "getting dark." Instead, I just want to enjoy the environment in the sun. I don't need a tan, I just want to be outside in the warmth and the pleasant weather. Heck, I'll even sit in the shade nowadays - something unheard of in my younger years.

Embracing my paleness in Barbados with Heather

Unfortunately, some damage has already been done. Since returning from the cruise, I have spent a fair bit of time at my dermatologist's office. I had six separate spots removed from my skin and sent off to be biopsied. Two of those spots came back as having atypical features, possibly precancerous. So, the doctor wanted to go back in and do an excision on each spot to make sure all of it had been removed, which means a deeper and longer cut, stitches, and a scar. I had my first one done on Monday, and go back in two weeks for the second one. After that, the dermatologist wants to see me every three months for a checkup.

At this point, the ramifications for my stupid sun-loving teenage self haven't been awful. I don't actually have skin cancer (yet, knock on wood). I'm not dying or losing my skin or anything like that. So far it has mostly been annoying with a side of minor discomfort, a hassle more than anything. But, it makes me nervous for the future. Are my new and improved sun habits too little, too late?

I'm not here to judge anyone who does love tanning or isn't concerned with sunblock. Dude, I've been there. I GET YOU. The sun is addicting. Getting tan is addicting. I love it as much as the next person. Do what you gotta do, but I do encourage you to be careful in the sun. Now that the weather is warming up, it's easy to be eager to get out there and get some color. I know I'm really excited to be able to be back outside, but I'm just trying to be careful to make sure the sunblock joins me. It's just not worth the risk, you know?

So. The point of all this is: wear sunscreen. Join me in my quest to spread the word that pale is beautiful, too! It's a revolution!