Kristina's Last Fling Before the Ring

WARNING: Viewer Discretion Advised

This post contains subject matter and photographic evidence relating to a weekend of bachelorette debauchery. May not be suitable for young children or office environments. If you are offended by baked goods and decor in the form of male genitalia, and/or the consumption of alcohol, please refrain from reading this post and return later this week when regularly scheduled programming resumes (we'll be back to posts about things like dog boots and visits with family soon enough).

If you're still with me...I spent this past weekend in South Florida for my friend/college roommate/former bridesmaid Kristina's bridal shower and bachelorette party! I had a wonderful time and was so glad I was able to be there to celebrate with her. She is getting married in less than two weeks, on March 20. Eric and I will be going back down to Florida then for the wedding, too, of course. I can't wait!

I left our apartment at 8:00 a.m. on Friday to catch my 10:50 flight. I got to Florida around 2:00p.m. Kristina picked me up from the airport, along with her friend Shannon, who had just flown in from Texas. It was so great to see Kristina! The last time we saw each other was my wedding, now over a year and a half ago. She's looking beautiful, and I also was finally able to see her engagement ring, which is breathtaking! Her fiance, Frankie, did a good job!

After leaving the airport, we stopped to pick up some lunch (Publix subs, which I haven't had since college, and forgot how delicious they are) and Kristina's cousins Riana and Kimberly, then went to Kristina's house to eat. After that we went to the mall to do some shopping for the weekend, then out for dinner. We all had a nice time at dinner, drinking wine and laughing at the ridiculous dancing that was taking place in the bar/club portion of the restaurant!

The girls at dinner: Sandra, Kimberly, Kristina, Riana, me, Shannon

When we got back to Kristina's house, we visited with her parents for a bit then went to bed. I was so tired, and we had a busy weekend ahead of us!

Saturday was the Big Day. I slept in a bit, then showered and went to run a couple of errands with Kristina. It was nice to have her to myself for a little bit to chat and catch up. When we got back to her house it was time to get ready for the shower, which began at 1:00p.m. Kristina's mom and aunt had been busy cooking and setting up all morning (and the day before), and their hard work paid off. Everything was beautiful!

Beautiful daisies and an adorable picture of Baby Kristina (eating a daisy) in the entryway

Tables set up by the pool, with pretty tulip centerpieces

One detail that I loved was that everyone was instructed to wear white, except Kristina, who wore bright pink! It was great because she stood out and looked amazing.

The stunning Bride-To-Be. And would you look at that rock?!

The shower was just lovely. We drank champagne mixed with Chambord raspberry liqueur, which was delicious. There was an abundance of amazing food, including salmon, beef tenderloin, caesar salad, fruit, cheese, bread, and a plethora of desserts.

The dessert spread

After eating, it was GIFT TIME! Kristina got some great stuff, both for her new married home and...um...some more personal items, if you follow me. She was certainly showered with gifts!

Gifts!

Kristina opening her gift from me

After the gifts were opened, the shower started to wind down. Kristina's friend Nicole presented Kristina with her bow bouquet (Kristina broke about 4 ribbons), and I gave her the list of things she'll say on her wedding night (taken from what she said while opening gifts). Then Nicole, Shannon and I got ready to head out to the next phase of the day.

Kristina with her bow bouquet, and her very sweet mother

Shannon, Kristina, Nicole and me

Nicole, Shannon and I left to go get checked in to the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, where we would be spending the night. Naturally, we made a stop at the liquor store on the way! When we got in to our room we immediately began setting up and decorating with all the goodies Nicole had brought, and were soon joined by Kristina's cousins Sandra and Riana to help. ALERT: This is where the post turns naughty, so look away if you must!

There were flashing penis lights. Penis balloons. Penis straws. A beautiful professionally-made penis cake. Shot glasses to wear around our necks. Temporary tattoos. Buttons to wear that said things such as "Flirt" and "Friksy." Liquor as far as the eye could see. Nicole also made wine glasses for everyone that said "Last Fling Before the Ring, Kristina's Bachelorette Party." And of course, there was plenty of stuff for Kristina herself, including a sash, veil, buttons, a big whistle, etc. It was glorious! Before long Kristina arrived and was so pleased with everything, which was great.

A fully stocked table

One of the beds, adorned with balloons and goodie bags for each girl. Each bag contined: a shot glass necklace, a whistle necklace, a temporary tattoo/sticker, a button to wear, and a penis straw.

The cake! Awww, look at the pretty flowers. How lovely.

Kristina trying on her bachelorette accessories. Unfortunately, she didn't end up wearing the veil because it bothered her head!

We cut into the cake right away. It was so good - vanilla cake with strawberry filling. Although I must admit, even though Kristina's cake was beautiful and delicious, it was not the best cake in the form of male genitalia that I had ever tasted. The one that Heather made for my bachelorette party was the best cake I've ever tasted in my life. I'm embarrassed to admit that, because I don't even want to think what that might say about me psychologically, but I must give credit where credit is due. My sister makes one heck of a penis cake. My cousin Molly will back me up on this - she ate it multiple times that night, and again for breakfast the next morning. Penis cake must not go to waste.

The next part of the evening did not go quite as planned. We all started getting dressed and made up (and drinking), while we were waiting for what was supposed to come next, but ended up falling through. That was the...um...adult entertainment. Yes, the stripper. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your outlook), the stripper was two hours late and when he showed up, apparently was so unattractive that Kristina's cousin's boyfriend, who had hired him for us, told him to go right back home. So, no stripper. But, we still had fun beautifying ourselves together and drinking in the room. Also, I will mention that seven girls can really make a mess of a hotel room in a short amount of time.

With Kristina, ready to par-tay!

Me with our old college friend Jordan. I can't even remember the last time I saw her!

Before long we were just about ready to go. Before we left, Kristina and I engaged in an old college tradition. Back in our college days, we had a bottle of Grey Goose vodka. If you are familiar with Grey Goose, you know that it is generally out of a college student's budget. So we hid that bottle in my closet so that nobody knew we had it, and every time we went out on the town, we took a lucky shot of it before we left. Often we would have our poor friends over and serve them ABC brand vodka, while we snuck off to my room to have a shot of Grey Goose. Ah, college. Anyway, I was sure to pick up a little shot bottle of Grey Goose so that Kristina and I could take a lucky shot before we left! And this time we even shared that little tiny bottle with Kristina's cousin Sandra and our friend Jordan. We're such selfless adults now.

Kristina enjoying her Grey Goose

Me, Sandra and Kristina

When we finally left the room, we went down to the main bar in the casino, where we hung out for a bit and enjoyed a few shots before heading out to the nightclub, called Pangea. Kristina's cousin Sandra's boyfriend (the one who had tried to get the stripper) was so generous, and he purchased a couple bottles of vodka at the club for us to share, and got us a VIP booth. We made ourselves comfortable in our booth, made some drinks, and had a blast.

The gang in our VIP booth: Me, Shannon, Sandra, Sandra's boyfriend Alex, Kristina, Nicole, Riana and Jordan

Shannon, me, Sandra, Kristina, and Nicole

Shannon, me, Kristina and Nicole dancing in our booth

We spent the rest of the night in the club dancing, drinking, and being generally crazy. I don't think I've been out dancing like that since my own bachelorette party, so it was nice to cut loose!

Me with the girl of the evening!

Slowly but surely as the night wore on, people started to trickle back up to the room to call it a night. The last four standing were myself, Shannon, Riana and the Bride-To-Be. We left the club very late (I want to say maybe 5:30a.m.?) and went to a diner to have some food before going back to the room. I think we got to the room around 7:00a.m., crashed, and woke up three hours later to get our stuff together before checking out at 10:00a.m. Phew. I'll tell ya what...I'm not as young as I once was. I'm still tired from it all.

After checking out we had lunch by the pool, and then it was time for me to head to the airport. I was sad to see it all come to an end! We had such a great time. I can't wait to go back for the wedding so soon! Congratulations, Kristina!