The Last of May

Well check me out, I have actually kept my blog current through the month of May! Here we are kicking off June with just a quick look back at the little moments that didn't make it onto the blog in real time over the course of the past month, but all the big stuff is properly documented in a timely manner. I'm a new woman!

May was a good month, and it went quickly. There was a lot of fun stuff to do around Jacksonville, as you have seen. But here are a few more May happenings that have not yet been shared:

I went to a "Mom's Night Out" at Pure Barre San Marco, which included a Pure Barre trial class followed by cocktails, appetizers from a local restaurant and giveaways. Unfortunately, I did not win anything except epic soreness for like two days because that workout is no joke. I wish we had the budget for regular classes because I'm pretty sure I'd be chiseled in like two weeks. But, alas. Regardless, it was a sort of reinvigorating night out by myself, and after my workout and glass of red wine I stopped to watch the sunset over the river on my walk home. Not too shabby, my friends.

Relaxing.

I also got crafty! Ellie, E.J. and I made a tote bag for my mom for Mother's Day, and I made both a patriotic wreath for our front door and a new Rapunzel dress (with matching clip!) for Ellie.

Tote bag for my mom! The butterfly is E.J.'s footprints, the flowers are Ellie's hands, and the bee/ladybugs are my fingerprints.

Our festive front door!

Ellie in her new dress

The weather has been quickly spiraling towards that suffocating Florida summer humidity, but there have been some really beautiful evenings still sprinkled in there, and on those days we have been sure to take advantage with some late afternoon walks.

Beautiful evening along the river

Ellie going for a run at Friendship Park

E.J. loves watching Ellie run, and laughs when she runs over to him!

Last weekend Eric had his official Teach for America Alumni Induction, marking the end of his stint with Teach For America (already!). From there he drove straight down to St. Pete for his sister Kelley's reception in celebration of her March wedding to Cathy. In addition, Eric was able to golf with his dad and spend some good quality time with his mom and Gramz. Overall it was a really nice day spent with family.

Kelley and Cathy!

Cathy, Kelley and Gramz

While Eric was out, I had a rare night all to myself (well, after I got all the kids in bed, of course). I chose to spend it drinking my fair share (...at least) of wine and getting myself hooked on "Orange is the New Black."

My glass of red and Piper Chapman

As for the kids, Ellie has continued to be obsessed with Rapunzel.

The fandom is strong with this one.

She also earned herself a new Sofia the First dress, crown and amulet by being potty trained. Yes, my friends, I think it's safe to put that in writing. She still wears Pull-Ups at naptime and diapers at night, but the rest of the time, she's straight-up big-girl-style. I wasn't sure this day would ever come but I am so proud.

She was so pleased.

In less proud parenting news, Ellie has developed a severe fear of the bath and I don't know why. Really it's just that she hates rinsing her hair, but that snowballs into hatred of the bath in general. I don't know why bathtime hair-rinsing is the stuff nightmares are made of while things like sprinklers, swimming pools and splash parks are a-okay, but hey, I'm not three years old. Dreading the bathtime spectacle this weekend, I mom-hacked it and invited Ellie outside to play in her kiddie pool where I sneak-attack shampooed her and rinsed her off with the hose. And nobody got hysterical! So, win! (But seriously, if any of you moms out there have any better ideas for handling this issue, please email me!)

Right before I tricked her into a swimming pool bath

E.J.'s eating improved dramatically, as did his napping skills (excuse me, I'm knocking on every wooden thing in my home now).

Happy lunch!

Sweet naptime

He also continues to make sure I get in my daily heart attacks by climbing on everything and basically wreaking general havoc. That child will not rest until EVERYTHING IS THROWN ON THE GROUND SO HELP HIM.

Here is my baby trying to climb out a window.

Here is my baby using his carseat as a stepladder so he can pull all the books off the shelf.

Here is my baby buried under a pile of photobooks that he pulled off the shelf. AGAIN.

Here is my baby risking life and limb to pull all the DVDs off the shelf. AGAIN.

Here is my baby standing at the coffee table, chewing on the babyproofing strip he just pulled off the table. Prior to this photo his middle finger was also extended. He was giving me the finger both literally and figuratively simultaneously.

E.J. also got into a bit of mischief at the library.

Chasing him through the stacks

The standard.

E.J. also helped me vote—his first time at the polls! (Ellie helped Eric vote, but this was not her first time. She was in the booth with me for the presidential election in 2012!)

That is one fine, upstanding American baby!

He also was still for a second. Once.

Relish this moment.

And, of course, we made our monthly trip to the zoo, though we barely made it in under the wire this time (we went the last day of May)! It was a fun trip, including a giraffe feeding and our first experience in the zoo splash pad, which went quite well. Ellie started out not wanting any part of it, then agreed to go through the water if I held her, then if I held her hand, and by the end she was running off away from me while I sat on the sidelines. Such is life.

Feeding our giraffe friend

E.J. smiles for a gorilla statue

Splash pad time!

Look at these cute faces!

And that, my friends, was May!

Our Growing Beach Babe

I was looking through pictures the other day and our Mother's Day beach pictures caught my attention because Ellie just looked so grown up. I couldn't help but go back and make a little collage of Ellie pictures, all taken on Jacksonville beach since we've moved here:

Left: Ellie at the beach just after we moved here, in August 2013 (16  months old).

Middle: Ellie at the beach right before E.J. was born, in June 2014 (nearly 27 months old)

Right: Ellie at the beach this past Mother's Day, 2015 (3 years old)

Can you believe how she's changed? I still feel like we only just recently moved to Jacksonville, but as I type this Eric is at his school's graduation—the second that has taken place since he started teaching. Last Friday he attended his own "graduation," or rather, his "alumni induction" for Teach for America. Somehow, we are already at the end of Eric's two-year teaching commitment. We will have lived in Jacksonville for two years as of this summer. So, it's no wonder my baby girl has grown from a wobbly little baby into a toddler into a kid in that time. It's just funny to stop for a moment and let yourself see it happening right before your eyes.

Seeking Our Next Steps

Today I wanted to take a little break from all my recapping to just touch briefly on what is going on in life for us generally, or, more specifically, in terms of Eric's career. As you may recall, in fall 2013 Eric started teaching high school through Teach for America. His commitment was for two years in a classroom, and now we're quickly approaching the end of that two years. So, it's time to figure out just what comes next.

If he wants to, Eric could continue teaching at his current school next year. His temporary teaching certificate is good for another year, and it sounds like the administration at his school would happily welcome him back. If you would indulge me as I brag on him for a moment, he has done a phenomenal job in his two years there so far. Naturally, it has been a challenge and certainly has been a learning experience. He was thrown into teaching with no real experience in a very trying situation. He had to learn a lot about the kids he was trying to reach (not to mention the class content) and he is constantly evaluating and re-evaluating his methods and working to adapt to better serve the specific kids in his classroom. He has spent countless hours scouring the internet for new and interesting ways to teach the subject matter, while also trying to teach greater life lessons (from things as small as "don't curse in the classroom" and how to give a proper handshake to bigger themes about perseverance, hard work, self-control and determination). He was elected chairman of the Shared Decision Making Committee, involved in a couple different athletic groups and, most impressively (in my opinion), is currently a finalist for Teacher of the Year at his school—and this is only his second year in the classroom!

Eric has worked really hard and I have been so proud of his efforts. I know it has been discouraging at times and has really tested his resolve, but he feels passionately about what he's doing and has remained focused. His teaching and class management has improved greatly since last year, and presumably next year would be even better. And, of course, each subsequent year will always be better than the previous year. It would be a constant learning experience for him and I think he would be very up to the challenge should he decide to make teaching a permanent career choice.

However, at this point, Eric is wondering if his skill set might not be better suited in another area of education reform. If so, now is the ideal time to try that out. If given the option, he would like to work for an education non-profit here in Jacksonville, be it Teach for America or another organization. The available opportunities thus far have been somewhat limited, although a few things have popped up that have piqued his interest and he is in the process of pursuing multiple opportunities of interest. Of course, it could still be some time before we know if anything comes of those things but we are hopeful. And, if they don't pan out, teaching another year is hardly an undesirable option.

Through this whole Teach for America stint we have really talked at length about where Eric sees his career going. There have been a myriad avenues we felt we could explore and it has been quite a progression to even get to this point—and we're still fairly uncertain, to be honest! Eric is a very smart, capable and dedicated man, and I have faith that he will end up where he is most needed. I say it a lot during our conversations: in retrospect, every step we have taken in our lives seems to have been destined as the right thing for us. I have no doubt that God is guiding our steps and He will place the right opportunity before us. It is simply our (Eric's) job to do our due diligence and fill out the applications, submit the resumes, keep our minds open, say our prayers and trust that we will be led down the right path. Eric will end up where he can be the most useful. I really believe that.

Of course, in all this talk, our location has been an underlying theme. I mentioned above that we want to stay in Jacksonville. And that is true, for at least another year. I can't say that it's permanent, but we do like Jacksonville. Our opinion of Jacksonville was much improved with our move to our current house in a walkable neighborhood, close and easily accessible to downtown. It's much more our style than our old apartment's neighborhood was! And, generally, it feels like Jacksonville is really on the verge of a sort of revitalization. There seems to be a lot of work being done to improve the downtown area, for example, and really make Jacksonville a cool place to be. We have found lots of things to do here, we like our neighborhood, and the idea of planting our roots here does not sound crazy in the least. We like living in Jacksonville.

However, despite all that, we recognize that it is entirely possible that opportunity could lead us elsewhere and we are certainly not opposed to following the right job, wherever it may lead. In that case, our preferences would definitely be for another big east-coast city (New York, D.C., Chicago, Boston), but the right situation could certainly sway us to the west coast or elsewhere. Really, nothing is off the table.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit anxious to know for sure where our next steps will take us. I also have to be honest with myself that even though I do like Jacksonville, my heart still resides in New York. When I let myself think about it, the homesickness is still painful and heavy. I wonder if that will ever go away completely? It's just...different from any sort of feeling I've had for a place before. For example, I absolutely loved living in Washington, D.C., too, and I would be thrilled if life led us back there again. That would be really great! But, if that is not what life has in store, I'm okay with that. I'm much more at peace with the idea of never living in D.C. again than I am with New York. I worry sometimes if I will ever really feel fully at home someplace new, when I feel like I already found the place where I fit.

However, everything I've said all along remains true: the most important thing is finding the opportunity (both job and location) that is right for our family. I know that we will make a home wherever we are, and we will have a great time doing so. Should we end up leaving Jacksonville behind, I look forward to exploring a new city with my family and making it our own. Should we end up staying in Jacksonville indefinitely (or, dare I say, permanently?), I look forward to continuing our enjoyment of this city and all it has to offer, and really cementing ourselves into this community. Frankly, there really is not a bad option here, so long as we're together and happy.

Hopefully in the next couple of months things will start to fall into place a little bit, so please keep us in your prayers as we seek the right next step and direction for the future. The last three years or so have been quite a ride, and we're hardly done yet.

Daddy-Daughter Date Night

This past Friday, Eric and Ellie went on their first real Daddy-Daughter date. Oh, sure, they've done plenty of things just the two of them before, but this was a fancy thing: Eric took Ellie as his date to the Teach For America-Jacksonville holiday party!

Ellie got dressed up in a holiday sweater dress, and Eric wore a festive shirt and tie (with Rudolph socks!). They looked great!

All dressed up and ready to party!

A good-looking pair!

From what I hear, the party was a great success. They decorated cookies, hit the photobooth, and danced together. I hear Ellie also enjoyed playing with the other kids in attendance, and running in circles.

Cookie decorating...

...though she preferred eating the icing and sprinkles!

Helping Daddy with his tie

Fun with ornaments

In the photobooth!

Ellie was just so happy to go to a "party with Daddy" and when they came home, she was PUMPED. She spent a good while running around the kitchen saying, "Daddy! Want to dance together?" and grabbing Eric's hands - to which, of course, Eric replied, "The answer is always yes." And dance they did! It was the sweetest thing.

I love those two and I'm so happy that they're such good buddies. It melts my heart to watch Eric be such a great dad to his daughter and to see how much she adores him in return.

First Year: Down!

Today is Eric's last day of school (with students) for this year. He still has to go in on Monday and Tuesday next week to wrap things up, but today is the last day for the kids and thus, his last day of actually teaching. So, I think we can say that his first year of teaching is officially in the books.

Mr. W. in action last summer

I hope that at some point he'll put some of this thoughts and impressions together into a post of his own that I can share with you, because I would say his first year of teaching has certainly been eye-opening. Although he expected his students to be "behind," he had no idea how dramatic the deficit might be. He has encountered a myriad eye-opening experiences and interactions with his students, and has made great strides towards figuring what might and might not work when trying to teach the kids in his classroom. It is very safe to say his first year has been quite a learning experience, and I hope he'll share that with you firsthand soon.

But in the meantime, I just want to say how proud I am of him. I know this year was no cakewalk, and I'm not sure either of us was prepared for how challenging it would really be. I know that Eric has struggled with feeling that he didn't do the job he hoped, judging by test scores and many student attitudes. But in reality, I think he did an extraordinary job this year. He was thrust into a difficult teaching assignment with only six weeks of teacher training under his belt. He had to navigate both subject matter and classroom management for the first time. He had no idea what would work and what wouldn't. He had two subjects to prepare for and struggled to motivate kids whose attitude about school and grades is in stark contrast with his own. He also coached football his first semester - essentially another full-time job in itself - and dealt with a newly pregnant wife and a new home and new city. How he didn't run screaming for the hills with all that, I may never know.

But scream and run he did not. In fact, he often commented on how much better he felt about going to work each day than he ever did in law. He certainly had a lot on his plate but there was never the overwhelming stress and/or dread over facing each new day. He built relationships with many of his students, and now even has cards and letters of appreciation to show for it. Some of his well-used "speeches" became famous and the kids loved to impersonate him. He was known for not letting his kids swear in his classroom and by the end of the year they were actively working to improve their in-class language, calling each other out on it and even extending the "no swear zone" to the hallway within Eric's earshot. He did his best with those kids, in a very challenging circumstance, and I think he made a lot more progress than he can probably even recognize.

I can't say enough how proud I am of Eric for doing this. I know that the one place he would prefer to spend all of his time (aside from the golf course) is at home with his family. However, working is a necessary evil that makes that impossible. Yet years ago he had the character and the integrity to say, "If I have to be away from my family for a job, I want to spend that time doing something worthwhile." And then he evaluated his career, didn't like what he saw, and changed it - venturing into the unknown, far from his comfort zone, in the pursuit of the greater good. He is an admirable man and I think those kids are lucky to have him. I know I am, and my kids are. There's no question about that.

There is one more year of teaching ahead of Eric on his Teach For America contract. He will be teaching math again next year (most likely Algebra 2) and he is already brainstorming new methods of teaching content, managing his classroom, instituting a cohesive vision and ultimately having the maximum positive impact possible for next year's students. It is inspiring and wonderful to see his enthusiasm still going so strong after the first year, as he already looks towards the next.

Eric, you should be so proud of yourself. I hope you know what a great job you have done this year and next year promises to be even better. You're an inspiration to me and an incredible example for Ellie and Plus One, as well as the kids that you teach. We're so proud of you.

A Year Later

One year ago today was our very first day as Florida residents. That means that one year ago yesterday, we loaded up our suitcases and took a flight from Newark to Tampa, with a newly teething, newly crawling, over-tired, non-sleeping baby and an excessively anxious dog in tow. So, the kind of flight nightmares are made of. And that hellish flight was not delivering us to the Caribbean vacation of our dreams or any such thing, but rather, it was taking us away from the city we loved. So, not exactly our best day.

It's hard for me to believe a year has passed because it seems like so much longer. So much has transpired and there has been so much forced adjustment that our New York life seems like a lifetime ago. How has it only been a year?

But, it has been a year, and I figured an update was in order. In addition to being a year into Floridian life, we're also four months into Jacksonville/teaching life. Time to share how things are going.

First, the biggest change: Eric's new job. As far as I can tell, it has been both everything we expected and nothing like we expected. We expected it to be challenging, and that it is. Very much so, in fact. I'm sure at times it would be a bit more relaxing to just coast through, but I know Eric thrives under a challenge and so I'm glad he's finally found that in his day-to-day life. I think he is, too. And it is certainly fulfilling and important, as expected. Eric says that each day he feels like there are new reminders of why what he is doing is important, and I know he really just wants to help these kids. And he doesn't just want to help them learn Geometry or Algebra; he wants to help them learn to think and reason and succeed beyond the walls of his classroom. However, that is a very ambitious goal for a first year teacher, and I know that often Eric feels like he isn't very good at this new line of work. Which is to be expected, as he's been teaching for four months and this is hardly a teacher-turns-around-a-whole-classroom-of-troubled-kids-in-two-hours movie (thanks for the unrealistic expectations, Hilary Swank and Michelle Pfeiffer). It is going to take time just for him to perfect his basic teaching skills, let alone to figure out how to attain his higher goals. And he may never actually get there, because it will certainly be a constantly evolving process. But if you ask me (and his test scores, and a myriad anecdotes he tells me about his students that show he is making a difference), he's doing a great job as a rookie teacher in a tough situation, and especially one who also tackled the responsibility and time commitment of coaching football in his first semester. It should come as no surprise to anyone that Eric is a rock star; now the trick is just getting him to believe it. So, it is still a work in progress but I'm very proud of my husband and I think he should definitely be proud of himself.

As for Ellie and me, we have found a variety of activities to occupy our time. We go to story time at two different libraries and a Barnes & Noble store weekly. We hit up play areas at the mall and the St. John's Town Center. We have our grocery shopping/laundry/etc. routines in place. As described in an early Jacksonville post, we play on our porch and take walks around our "backyard." I will say that purchasing a second car has been my saving grace in this shamefully unwalkable city - being able to get out and do something every day is very important to the sanity of a stay-at-home-mom, so I'm glad Ellie and I have been able to find fun things to do and get a little system going.

As for Jacksonville itself, it's...fine. We've been doing our best to get out and explore and take advantage of opportunities and activities offered locally, and I think we've been doing a good job of it. And it has all been fun. But at the end of the day, I think Eric and I both just feel like it's...fine. Neither of us has been particularly overwhelmed with Jacksonville and we're not sure it's going to be a permanent home for us.

I fully admit that much of my lackluster attitude about Jacksonville is largely my fault. I had such high hopes for this city, unrealistically so. For the entire nine months we were living in St. Petersburg, a common thread in my thoughts was "as soon as we get to Jacksvonille..." Any time I felt the least bit homesick for New York or any sense of longing for our former life, I would tell myself, "just wait till we get to Jacksonville." I think I really thought that we would show up here, get our stuff moved in, and instantly fall in love with the city (much like we did in our former home). I had visions of us just feeling like we found the perfect place for us, quickly setting out to make plans to stay here long-term, researching neighborhoods, looking at houses, and settling down. I don't think any city could have lived up to the expectations I had set for Jacksonville. And when I got here and just felt kind of "eh" about it, it was hard to take.

Granted, we have only been here four months. We have at least another year and a half to go here, like it or not. I'm reserving full judgment until we have been here a full year and really experienced life in Jacksonville, in all seasons, holidays, etc. I'm doing my best to keep an open mind and we'll continue to seek out all the fun things we can possibly find. And maybe by this time next year, I'll be talking about the houses we're looking at or our long-term Jacksonville plan. A lot can happen in a year, am I right?

However, if it hasn't already been made obvious, New York is still at the front of my mind. I do not have nearly the closure I had hoped to have after a year's time. Not even close, in fact. And the thing about missing New York is that it's constantly in your face. New York is on the news, in the movies, in books, on TV. The other night, Eric and I were watching a show that ended with a final shot of a guy getting into a cab on West 53rd Street and 10th Avenue in New York City. How do I know that's where it was? Because our old apartment building was in the shot. Right there, on my TV, was the front door of the apartment I loved more than any other. On a day when I otherwise hadn't thought much about New York, it was like a shot in the heart. There is no escaping it. And really New York-centric things like the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade or the Rockefeller Center Tree Lighting? Forget it. I watch them, sure, because I'm clearly a masochist, but I do so with tears in my eyes. Is that normal, even after one year?

I just really didn't realize how tightly New York had woven itself into my identity, and I feel like a fish out of water here. I don't feel like a Floridian, and frankly, I'd rather be a New Yorker. I miss everything about that city - the tall buildings, the busy streets, the constant excitement, the fast pace and hustle and bustle. I always said that I wanted to have a big family and I never could imagine raising kids in the city, but since we've been gone, I've started to rethink that: what's so bad about kids in the city? I'd love for Ellie to grow up with the experiences New York can offer. And what's so bad about a smaller family, or living in an apartment forever? Isn't it worth the trade-off?

At this point, I have no idea where we'll ultimately end up. Will it be Jacksonville? I don't think so as of today, but crazier things have happened. Will it be New York? It seems unlikely, but I sure would love it. Maybe it will be an unforeseen mysterious "Option C," some other random city that we haven't even thought of yet. I have a hard time picturing myself ever loving any city nearly as much as New York, but surely it's possible?

So that's where we are as of today, one year after the Big Move: settling in, yet still very much in transition. Despite our mixed emotions about our current locale, our faith remains strong that this is where we are meant to be at this moment and that the work Eric doing is worthwhile. And that's really what the whole point of this move was, so it's hard to argue with that.

Friday Night Lights

So, as you know, Eric spent the majority of his first semester as a teacher coaching quarterbacks for the school football team. It ended up being a HUGE time commitment, even more so than we expected. So, needless to say, now that it has come to an end, he is breathing a little easier. If you ask me, he's a rock star for taking on that task on top of the already daunting one of figuring out how to be a teacher and lesson planning for his two math classes. How he stayed sane, I may never know.

Unfortunately, the team didn't have the season they hoped for, but I think it was a great experience for Eric and I know he really enjoyed being able to interact with the kids on a more personal level than the classroom generally allows. I think it was also cool to just be immersed in the football world again; it has been a long time for him. (Unlike the rest of the coaches on the staff, he did not play at the collegiate or professional level ["The League," I'm told it's called], but he did play high school football and looked wicked hot doing so.)

Personally, as a former band nerd myself, I also enjoyed being back under the Friday night lights, and it was extra fun to take Ellie for her first taste of it, too. A woman after her mama's heart, she particularly loved the bands and would dance up a storm whenever they played. When they stopped, she would ask for more. Unlike her mama (well, the younger version of myself), she also was interested in the actual football game. She'd get very excited as soon as she caught sight of the field and would start going on and on about "ball!" She enjoyed clapping and cheering from the stands, and also liked trying to spot Coach Daddy on the sidelines. When we left each game, she would spend the ride home asking, "Where ball go? Where Dada? Where band? Baaaaaaall! Where are you?" She couldn't get enough.

Rather than recap each game we went to individually, I thought I would just share a few of my favorite pictures from the season. Enjoy!

Before Eric's first home game v. Ponte Vedra in September

"Ball!"

In the stands

Go Big Blue!

Eric looking all coach-like

The band performing at halftime

Halftime hugs (we always left after halftime, but made sure to say bye to Eric first!)

My mom was in town to see the Middleburg game

Signing "more" to the band

Touchdown Generals! Cannon firing under the scoreboard

Engrossed in the game

Halftime kisses through the fence

Football is exhausting.

VIDEO: A 15-second look at Generals football

Also, on Eric's bye week, we were able to go to another school to see his high school alma mater play locally. It was fun to be able to be at the game together for once! Eric's school lost, but it was still a fun evening.

Decked out in black and gold to support her Daddy's alma mater

Eric's school played Raines at The Graveyard

Let's watch some football!

Oh, these two.

Goofy selfie

VIDEO: A look at just how much Ellie enjoys the band

Although I am most definitely glad to have Eric around more now that the season is over, Friday night football games definitely added some extra fun to our fall!