Mixed Emotions

Lately I've really been going back and forth between being super excited to move to New York, and super sad to leave DC. Don't get me wrong, I really am incredibly excited about this upcoming move. I have wanted to live in New York for years now, and I'm so glad I'll finally get that chance. I'm so proud of Eric for his job, I can't wait to live in our new apartment, and I know that New York has so much to offer us. I really think it will be a blast and can't wait to be there!

On the other hand, I'm really kind of bummed to be leaving DC. The last time I made a big out-of-state move (from Gainesville to DC), I really felt ready to go. I had gotten everything out of Gainesville that I possibly could and was ready to leave it behind and start the next chapter of my life. I think my problem now is that I'm not sure I've gotten everything out of DC yet. I feel like there's still so much to see and do here. Somehow, the last three years have flown by and all the things I kept putting off aren't going to get done now, because there isn't time.

I think a big catalyst for these mixed emotions has been the realization that I'm leaving my job. I had hoped that I might be able to continue to work for my boss from New York (much of what I do can be done long-distance), but it's looking less and less like that will happen to the extent that I was hoping, and that makes me sad. We took on an intern this summer, and it seems she will be taking over for me when I go, and I'm already starting to sort of phase myself out. I kind of expected that it would turn out this way, but it still is really sad to train someone to take over a job that you don't want to leave. I love my boss, I love the work that I do, I love my office, I love our clients. I really hate to leave it all behind. I'm trying to tell myself that this is for the best...perhaps by forcing myself to find something new, I will find an even better opportunity than what I have now. I hope that's the truth!

Plus, I just really like it here, and that's the bottom line. I love our apartment. I love our neighborhood. I love living among these monuments and beautiful sites and all these DC people. I can't imagine not being able to go walk the monuments if the mood strikes, or spend an afternoon shopping in Old Town Alexandria. I just really, really like it here. And I don't feel ready to go, at least not like I did when I left Gainesville.

I almost didn't write this post because I definitely don't want to give off the impression that I am not happy about moving to New York, but I felt that I should share all aspects of this life change, not just the happy parts. I really can't express how excited I really am to be a New Yorker...like I said, I've wanted to live there for years and am so glad that I'll finally have the chance to do so. I know it's going to be so much fun, and I can't wait for it to be August so we can get up there! It will be really, really great. But for now, it's just a little bittersweet for me.