I Will Have My Husband Back Very Soon!

Excuse me, has anyone seen this man? 

He was last seen wearing graduation garb back in May. Rumor has it he's been held captive by the NY State Bar for months. 

Can anyone help? His wife misses him!

This is it, folks, the second and final day of the bar exam! I spoke to Eric and he feels very confident about Day One, so he's feeling pretty good about going into Day Two. He said he really felt like he knew his stuff on the New York State portion (which if you remember, is the one he was most worried about), so other than he hand being cramped up from all that writing, he was feeling great. Now, just one day left, then FREEDOM!

I was just killing time today while watching...um...movies for work, and was Googling things like "bar exam stress" or "bar exam widow" to see if anything might come up relating to what it's like to be the wife of a bar examinee. I actually came across this blog, and this woman's post about being a bar exam wife. I thought a lot of it was pretty accurate (and so pretty funny), so I thought I would share it here (my comments are in bold italics, the rest is credited to the Letter9 blogger linked above):

Twelve Things That Suck About Being a Bar Exam Wife:

1. You have to do the dishes. And sometimes cook dinner. (If you can't understand what I'm talking about because you do these things anyway and/or you like doing these two things, insert two things you hate and/or are very unskilled at and that your spouse does because of your hatred and lack of skill). (In our case, Eric still did a lot of this stuff...but we did eat fast food/pizza a bit more than normal.)
2. You have to hear things like, "Does this make any sense to you: blah blah blah blah trustee blah blah blah decedent blah blah. That just doesn't even make sense. Who writes this stuff?" Then... (Oh yes. I heard LOTS of talking through the law stuff.)
3. ...you have to try to pretend you (a) understand, (b) also think it's stupid and whoever wrote it is a dummy, or (c) (GASP!) try to explain it based on your 100% lack of knowledge of whatever-the-f*ck it is you're being asked. (Well, I never tried "c," but the rest is true.)
4. You have to put up with alarms going off very very early in the morning and the proper recipient of said alarms occasionally hitting snooze and/or flat refusing to get up then returning to sleep to snore while you contemplate the stippling on the ceiling. (Actually, I'm the serial snoozer in our house, and Eric is really good at getting out of bed when the alarm goes off. But, oh, how I sympathize with the early alarms.)
5. Your kid is sad because he misses daddy and daddy is sad because he misses his kid. (I tried to replace "kid" [of which we have none] with "dog" in this scenario, but this part doesn't work for us. Eric studying at home meant the dog saw much more of him than I did, so there was no missing going on there.) And you miss the weekends. Ah, the weekends. The closer you get to the bar, the more distant your memory of weekends becomes. (Oh so true.)
6. You have to watch your bar exam husband go through torture. This part really sucks. (ABSOLUTELY.) If it's his first bar (it is) or he has not yet passed a bar exam (he hasn't), the torture is worse. Sometimes, he looks physically ill. (He did actually experience a physical neck injury as a result of studying too much.) Sometimes he swears he's not taking it. Sometimes he is so distracted he forgets what month it is. (That didn't happen, but I'd be lying if I said my birthday didn't slip his mind, just for a second, a few days before.) If it is his second state (i.e. he passed and is practicing in one state and is taking an exam in another state), as in our case, the torture is less but still noticeable. (Good to know, in case he decides to take the Florida bar later. Ugh.)
7. You have to spend a lot more time alone. Like, a lot. (Preach on, sister.)
8. You have to pick up a lot of the slack around the house (see #1 above) and you don't even get to complain about it or at least you try not to complain because you know that your husband probably (a) has more to complain about (yes), (b) is less happy than you are (right again), and (c) would much rather wash dishes than study (I think he has actually even said this verbatim). Plus there's the fact that he's taking the bar to benefit both of you not, as you sometimes wonder, because he's a mean, mean sonofab*tch who wants to make your life unpleasant. (Thanks for doing that, by the way, Eric.)
9. It's nearly impossible to tell when you should encourage your bar exam husband to relax and take a break and when to encourage him to buckle down. (YES! I usually recommended the former.) When he's neglecting the books, this is especially hard because who are you to say, "Hey, maybe you should be studying more" because saying that would be sort of like saying to a pregnant woman, "Hey, maybe you should try not to be so hormonal" or something. Basically, it's unwanted advice and really just makes matters worse. (Eric was pretty dedicated, so there wasn't much book-neglect going on. My recommendations were mostly in favor of relaxation because he seemed just so, so stressed and had been working so, so hard.)
10. You just keep wanting to say, "HEY! Only 64 more days until the bar exam!" because you are counting down every single damned second until the thing is over but this initiates shaking, cold sweats, and much, much anxiety in your bar exam husband. And yet sometimes you actually say it and then you get the look. (I actually was not even allowed to write the bar exam on our calendar, because Eric didn't want the reminder there staring him in the face.)
11. You save up things to complain about when the whole thing is over (you even write letters to your husband that you never give him because writing them genuinely helps you feel better) but then once it's over, you forget to complain. (I never wrote a letter, but the thought "I won't say anything until after the bar" has crossed my mind on one or two occasions. I doubt I actually ever will say anything.) The second time around, you kind of wish you'd gotten a chance to complain after the first one because now you feel like you've got extra complaint baggage stored up and it's harder to make room for your new complaints. (Something to keep in mind...)
12. All you can think about is all the stuff you want your bar exam husband to do after it's all over - all the ways he should repay you for all your selfless effort during whoa these so many months - and so you kind of forget that you should be repaying him and doing nice things for him when it's all over. (So true. He worked so hard, for the good of our family.)

It was nice to read something so similar to what things have been like for me and to know that I'm not alone! I'm so excited that after today, I'll get my husband back and will no longer be a "bar exam widow." Although I do know that no matter how hard the whole process was on me, it was a million times harder on him. But, he did it and once again, I am left feeling so proud of him.

Eric, good luck with your LAST DAY! I can't wait to see you tomorrow when you get back, and to celebrate this accomplishment with you. You've certainly earned it. I love you.